Falling Into Place

Today started out badly. I got a horrible night's sleep because I ate too much, too late, last night. I have my period and feel out of sorts. I am crabby. I have lots of stress at work; seriously, people don't like me and keep criticizing me. I get up at 5 every day to feed my baby son- I LOVE doing this, but the lack of sleep is catching up with me. I hate going back to work and trusting other people (even if they are my parents) to take care of my kids "the right way." I planned on getting back to walking after I had my son, but time is so, so hard to come by. We have a trip to Disney in 2 months and I want to not only fit in my airplane seat, but feel skinny in it and while I am on this great vacation. I have been stress eating lately, a habit I thought I had kicked.
But tonight, all of the sudden, things came together for me and left me feeling peaceful and joy-filled and surrounded by God. It was a gorgeous fall night. I was reminded that I like working at the farm because of the people there (the people who I am NOT related to). I had done good work today and felt good about that. Everything on the radio seemed old to me so I thought I'd look for an old CD I had of Christian music- I opened right to it, the exact one I had been vaguely thinking of, and the first song made me sing so, so loud, praising God. The second song made me sing so, so loud, praising God and thanking him for my good life. Every song reminded me of a time not so long ago when I was happy and joyful. I realized- AN AHA MOMENT- that only God (not a Milky Way) could fill me that much, that well, that joyfully. Something clicked hard for me. I felt God make all those little things come together for me and I felt Him right there with me. All my cravings and emptiness went away.
When that happens, I feel like the happiest, most blessed person in the world. I don't need anything else to fill me when I have God (not even the brownies and cold milk in my kitchen...)