Beth's soundtrack

I unofficially named this year "The Year of Beth." I just finally felt it was time to be worthy of the good life I wanted and could see just barely out of reach. My good friend Robin said to me "Who are you to question God, that he did not make you perfect, just as you are? And that you are not EXACTLY where you are supposed to be on your path?" That let a thousand pounds roll off of me. And I felt like without all that guilt and doubt and self hatred there was a shining light, that felt joy and could radiate joy, and that was what my purpose was for now. Just to be, and to be happily!
So I figured that my year needed a soundtrack and I spent lots of time happily listening to music (oh, my iTunes bill...) and finding out who I was through what music spoke to me. It's cool to me that "Keep on Shinin" is my all time favorite song now, and so many other songs that fit me speak of light and shining and feeling your worth. Before this year, "shiny" was not a way I had ever thought of myself, and I had never thought I was "enough".
I just wanted to give a shout out of gratitude to the universe, for bringing me to this shiny, happy place. I am sending love and peace and joy out, knowing it will come back a thousand-fold.

Here we go again...

This blog is turning out to be quite a hard thing for me to do. It's not finding the time, or figuring out things to write about, but the belief that my life is interesting enough for someone else to want to read about. I love the intimate details of other people's lives; I am hooked on hearing about other people's kids, vacations, daily lives, dilemmas, internal musings. But to put my life out there, to make that leap of faith, and say that my life has as much substance, is turning out to be harder than I thought.
Lately I've been thinking that I spend too much time in my head, and it's the actions I take that will move me further 'on my path.' So here goes: I will post this and not worry that it isn't as clever as "teaching heart mom", or "cottage bethy", or "a moment of jen", or "three's company", "a study of schoolbooks and shoes" or "this mom's many hats". I'll have some faith and hope there's another woman out there that is trying to have a little more peace, a little more of a sense of her life. Is there someone else out there, that at this same moment is strangely obsessed with" Denise Richards: It's Complicated," is trying to make a Dora mermaid birthday party invitation for her soon-to-be 4 year old daughter, and just ate some brownies from Sam's Club that made her feel nauseous b/c she ate way too much of them? Here's hoping...